A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”<\/p>\n
“What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”<\/p>\n
“What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”<\/p>\n
“Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”<\/p>\n
“Well, ok, but what about that hook? “What happened to your hand?”<\/p>\n
“We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really.”<\/p>\n
“What about that eye patch?”<\/p>\n
“Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye.”<\/p>\n
“You’re kidding,” said the bartender, “you couldn’t lose an eye just from some bird poop.”<\/p>\n
“It was my first day with the hook.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.” “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3158"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3158"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3158\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}