{"id":824,"date":"2008-03-25T19:37:41","date_gmt":"2008-03-26T01:37:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/2008\/03\/25\/letter-from-the-deer\/"},"modified":"2008-03-25T19:37:41","modified_gmt":"2008-03-26T01:37:41","slug":"letter-from-the-deer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/?p=824","title":{"rendered":"Letter from the deer"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Paige,
\nFirst of all, we just LOVE your yard. There’s so much space there, and it’s so nice and close to our field where we hang out. We can just jump the pitiful fence and come whenever we feel like it, and have a tasty snack.
\n\"deer\"
\nWe LOVE all the tulips you have planted for us. Am I correct in assuming that there are even more this year than last year? Oh, they are so tasty!
\n<\/p>\n

If you want our opinion, however, we would suggest you don’t plant any more of those crocuses. We find them bitter and they tend to stick to our teeth. I heard that the antelope might enjoy them, but we prefer a diet of strictly tulips, with a little bit of those bushes for dessert.
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

Oh, and my cousin Dorothy has asked me to let you know that we find the daffodils annoying, as well. Although the bulbs may look like the tender tulips, they don’t have the same taste, and we really just don’t enjoy them. We would suggest that you don’t plant any more of those for next year, because frankly, they get in the way of our snacks.
\n\"daffodils\"<\/p>\n

Thank you again for not getting a dog. We don’t enjoy them at all, what with all that annoying barking and all. We avoid places with dogs–those stinky, dirty creatures. We would much rather be the ONLY pets that poop on your grass.
\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes when we are eating, the lights come on. What a nice touch! Then we can really see what it is we are snacking on. Don’t worry about disturbing us, we don’t mind one bit.<\/p>\n

So, keep up the great work, and we’ll keep on visiting. Remember: No dog, and plant more tulips.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Yours truly,
\nDasher<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Paige, First of all, we just LOVE your yard. There’s so much space there, and it’s so nice and close to our field where we hang out. We can just jump the pitiful fence and come whenever we feel like it, and have a tasty snack. If you want our opinion, however, we would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=824"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paige.ericksonfamily.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}