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The Trials of a Busy Mom

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the 12 days of Christmas

December 27, 2009 / / 3 Comments

One fun Christmas “service” act we like to do is to surprise a neighbor with the “12 days of Christmas”.

(can you spot me?)

This year, we chose a family that has kids the same ages as our kids, and they are friends. I knew it might be hard for the kids to keep it a secret, plus they don’t have many hiding places in their front yard, so it might be difficult to avoid getting caught. We did some of the usual things,
day one, a carton of eggs (a partridge laid these eggs)
2- “two sided crackers” and we gave them flips.
3-“three french fries” and we gave them a bag of frozen french fries. Of course, this day they may or may not have known what was going on, because Natalie lost the note on the way over. Seeing a bag of frozen french fries on the porch, they may not have made the connection to day 3. Oh well.
4-four pairs of socks
5-five gold fish. This was the day I decided to get really clever. Never a good idea when dealing with sneaky things, but I did it anyway. I gave them 5 packages of goldfish crackers, and instead of just delivering them all at once, I put two in the mailbox, then took 3 to the school. I went into the office, and after bribing the office staff with diet cokes, I asked if they could deliver these fish to each of the three kids that go to that school. They had little notes on them so the kids would know that the fish were part of the 12 days of Christmas. I made sure to say that these were NOT from me, and you had NO IDEA where these snacks came from, that we were being sneaky. They agreed and said they knew all about the sneaky. As I was coming out of the 5th grade classroom an hour later, who should I run into coming out of the office but (care to take a guess?) my friend–the one who we were doing the surprise for. She was right there, coming out of the office, holding ALL THREE of the bags of goldfish. What? That was not the plan! Did I not make myself clear that these were to go to the KIDS? She was checking in her daughter, who had had a doctor’s appointment that morning. She wanted to talk to me, so we walked out together. I tried NOT to look at the goldfish in her hands, and she didn’t mention it, so it wasn’t mentioned. Ugh. This always happens when I involve other people in our sneakyness. One year, we asked one of Megan’s friends to deliver a gift, and she took it to them and said, “This is from the Ericksons.” NO!!!! That is not the plan. Oh, well.
6-On the 6th day, we gave a big bag of potatoes. What? Potatoes? The note said, “These must be SOME special geese to lay these for you. I know, they are dumb. But sometimes I just don’t want to go to the store and I’m all out of ideas.
7- Seven swans a swimming. I had Cole, our resident origami expert, make up 7 origami swans, and then each swan was holding a coupon for a free junior frosty.
8-Eight ways a milky, and we gave them 8 little milky ways. Or we would have if we had 8 milky ways. We could only find 7 among the halloween candy, so we crossed out the 8 and put 7. Like I said before, we’re not professionals at this, it’s just whatever stuff we can dig up.
9-Nine was some foot creme, specially picked out by the nine ladies dancing, because all that dancing can make your feet tired, right?
10-Ok, I’ll admit it, I got really lazy on day 10, and I was not in the best mood, so they got a package of little Debbie’s snack cakes. Sigh.
11-We can’t remember. How sad is that?
12-For the twelfth day, we had a 12 pack of fanta, wishing them a “fantastic” Christmas. This friend actually called and told me they were going out of town, but she was going to bring something by before they left. Great, we thought. They’ll come to us. Then we can sing to them and give them their “12” gift, and we’ll be done. They never came by. Must have run out of time, since they were going out of town. So, we never did deliver day 12 to them, and hopefully they still don’t know. Well, unless they read this post, then they would know. Oops?

Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2009 / / 1 Comment

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas eve. I hope you have fun and laugh with your family or friends. I hope you take a minute to think about the greatest gift of all, our Savior Jesus Christ. I hope you keep that peace in your heart and share that love with all around you. I hope that you find joy this Christmas.

Politically correct Santa

December 22, 2009 / / 0 Comments

Politically Correct Santa
‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?

His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!?

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even you.

So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…

“May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.”

This document is copyright (c) Harvey Ehrlich 1992.

Sometimes they just don’t get it.

December 17, 2009 / / 5 Comments

A few years ago I put numbers on the gift tags for the kids instead of their names. To keep them guessing and not comparing and counting all their presents. The numbers were random, too, not just the standard “birth order” numbers. Then, on Christmas morning, we would reveal their number, and they were able to find their own gifts. I thought it was a brilliant idea, myself, and it seemed to work pretty well.

For some reason, I haven’t been consistent about the secret number thing, and last year I think I just used their names. Well, today I finally got serious about the wrapping and wrapped a few of the LARGE gifts. The gifts that all the kids are going to look at and say, “I hope that’s MY present”. Not that bigger means better or more expensive, but to a kid, that’s how it seems. When John came home from school, my dad was here AND the phone was ringing. So I didn’t have time to explain to John who the BIG presents on the table were for. I just read the tag that said “to Skippy from Mom and Dad.” It was obvious that he did NOT like this idea as he scrunched up his face and in his angry voice said, “No, it has to be a REAL person!” He then proceeded to stomp up to his room and then stomp around and make as much noise as possible.

As soon as I was off the phone and could give John my attention, I called him down from upstairs so I could talk to him. His face was red and splotchy and he had been crying. I tried to explain to him that even though these weren’t OUR names on the presents, they were going to be for US. I then gave him a little hint that one of the presents that had two names on it, (I think it was Bufford and Skeeter) was for him and one other person. That seemed to placate him just a little bit. He then helped me put the presents under the tree with only a little bit of sniffling.

And I was once again reminded that sometimes the ideas that are going to be “great” are, in the eyes of the little people, “not so great.” Like the time I told Cole that he couldn’t wear that ripped, faded and almost falling apart shirt anymore and then grabbed the hole under the arm and ripped it right off of him. I was just laughing at how hilarious I am, and he was upset and hurt. Maybe I’m just too clever for my own good.

oooh, donuts

December 16, 2009 / / 2 Comments

I made Indian Fry Bread last night. The Navajo tacos were pretty good, but the smell, it lingers! I went to Cole’s band concert at the high school, and was very aware of the smell I carried. I’m sure that everyone around me was aware that someone somewhere had been frying something. I can just imagine the people close to me thinking, “oooh, did someone bring donuts?” Ugh.

Quite a week

December 15, 2009 / / 3 Comments

It’s been quite a week! It’s always a wonderful experience to get to be a part of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert, and this year’s concert with Natalie Cole was no exception.
We didn’t have a very hard part, so it was no stress and lots of fun. I thoroughly enjoyed being there, watching from backstage, talking to the dancers and the stage crew, and just took it all in. It was fabulous. As I was standing backstage waiting to come on, I had to take a minute to remind myself to remember the moment, because all too soon it would be over; just a memory.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a hard week, with little time with the family, but they all survived without me. I think it’s good for them. Hopefully they’ll appreciate mom a little more when I’m here. Oh, who am I kidding?

Saturday night I stayed over at a friend’s house close to down town, so I wouldn’t have to drive all the way home (fighting the traffic the whole way) only to get back up early and drive all the way back on Sunday morning. It was very nice to be able to leave the house at 7:15 and arrive at Temple Square by 7:30. it’s nice to have such generous friends.

Would you like a side of Drama with those jeans?

December 3, 2009 / / 8 Comments

If you are anything like me, even though you may have 5 or 6 pairs of jeans in the closet, you really only have one pair of jeans. The jeans that actually fit right. They don’t pinch, squeeze, or gap. They’re the perfect length, they aren’t cut too low, they feel fine every time you wear them, and you are comfortable in those jeans. I know it takes a while to get them that way. They probably weren’t perfect the first time you wore them, but they were close. And after several wearings, they fit just right.

So, while I don’t wear the jeans every single day, now that it’s colder and the wearing of capri pants is not practical, I wear those jeans about 4 times a week. Is that wrong? Should I be branching out more and wearing other types of pants?

However happy I am in my relationship with my jeans, there comes a time in every pair of jeans’ life when the “Go-to” jeans become the “up and went” jeans. They eventually wear out. -sigh- In my case, I developed some bare places where bare places shouldn’t be. I had to admit that the jeans were just too worn out to wear anymore.

Then I was faced with a dilemma. What to wear? And do I go out and shop for another pair? Ugh. Not jeans shopping. While not quite as ridiculous and painful as swimsuit shopping, jeans shopping can also be embarrassing, time consuming, and pricey. And even then, a pair of jeans may look and feel ok in the store’s dressing room, but when you get them home and introduce them to your other clothes, they just don’t behave. They gape in areas where they should hug, or they’re not quite as long as you thought they were, or they’re just too darn tight. It’s like you’re adopting a pet. The jeans must act all nice and obedient while in the store to convince you to take them home and away from that dark and lonely place that is the store, but once they get out, all bets are off. Plus, who has the TIME or the MONEY right now?

I admit I’m totally not a designer jeans girl. I’ve never spent over $50 for a pair of jeans, and I’d to keep it that way. I don’t get how they can charge hundreds of dollars for a pair of jeans. I mean, maybe I would get that super great fitting pair if I was willing to fork out half of my mortgage payment for a pair of jeans, but that’s not gonna happen. I’m going to buy them on sale, or with a coupon code, probably from Coldwater creek or my favorite store, Kohl’s. Don’t look down your nose at me, but that’s how it is. Maybe if I had a great body so that the jeans would actually look hot, but really, even with a great pair of jeans, I’m still going to be chubby.

And what’s up with all these different “rises”? By “low rise” they mean that these jeans will give you a plumber’s crack even before you bend over. Mid rise should be just about right, and high rise would be Mom jeans, I would guess. I can’t figure it out. I put on a pair of mid or high rise jeans and I still feel like I’m going to be pulling on the jeans all day to make sure they stay up.

Jeansless, I headed to the closet to see what else I could wear. I pulled out a few pairs of jeans to try. Let’s see, there’s the pair that fits but is obviously too short, and every time I sit down I’m painfully aware that everyone can tell if I shaved my legs or not. Denied. There’s the pair that fits pretty well, but it’s got a flower pattern on it that was started out gold, but now looks as if I was standing by the side of the road when a big truck drove by and splattered me with mud (kind of like in the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days” with hunky Matthew McConaughey). Denied (I’m feeling very Suze Orman here). There’s the pair that has flower applique down the leg. Is applique in? Out? I don’t know, but when I wear those jeans I feel a little self conscious, like “Hey, look at me! I’m wearing my fancy jeans!” And I just don’t want to draw any undo attention to myself today. Denied. There’s the WAY cute pair that will look FABULOUS of me when I lose 10 or more pounds, but at today’s weight, they are most likely unzipable. Denied. There’s the other cute pair that are long enough and fabulous if I lose just 5 pounds, and I could wear them today if I weren’t planning on sitting down. They do “stretch”, right? But today, right after Thanksgiving, is not the time to try to pull that one off. Denied. There’s the pair of Khakis that fits fine and is long enough, but they are actually too long, and I feel kind of like puddle pants when I wear them. They need to be hemmed. Not feeling like hemming or wearing heels today, so they are denied. I found a pair of black pants that looked like a possibility. I put them on, and realized that while they did indeed fit, they were tapered leg, making me look OH SO HIPPY. How old ARE these things? I wonder to myself. I don’t buy tapered leg anything anymore. So Denied they go straight in the “donate” box.

What’s a gal to do?

Once again, I’m reminded why it would be so much easier to be a guy. Guys don’t have issues with their jeans. In fact, half of the time, they don’t even try them on. They just pick their waist size, and the length they want–Boom. Done. My husband doesn’t even buy his own jeans. Never. He hates shopping. He just asks me to get him a couple of pairs of jeans now and then. He likes the $13 jeans from Costco. Seriously. I tried to fancy him up last month, and bought him some Calvin Klein jeans. Still from Costco, but just a little nicer jean. He FINALLY tried them on, and said he doesn’t like them, and would I please just get the regular kind. Oh, well, if you want to keep on wearing the budget jeans from Costco, I guess I shouldn’t complain.

Way in the back of the closet I found a pair of jeans I didn’t remember. Hmmm. Whatever. I’ll try them on, I thought. I put them on, and they fit pretty well. They seem to be long enough, but not TOO long. Not too loose. Tight enough, but not TOO tight (Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just after Thanksgiving, of course they’re too tight, but not unbearably tight.) I can sit down in them. I think these might just work. I looked at the tag again, and they are Old Navy “curvy” jeans. I don’t know when the last time I was actually in an Old Navy store, and I don’t remember buying them. And what’s with the “curvy”? Is that a nice way to say fat? At this point, I just don’t care. I pull on the jeans. They are a little bit low in the back for my taste, but with a long shade shirt, I’ll be fine.

I wore the jeans. All day. While not as comfy as my last pair, I may have found a suitable substitute for the time being. And if some kind soul wants to volunteer to find me the perfect pair of jeans, I wouldn’t turn them away.

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