I haven’t written much about my crazy dreams in a while, and maybe that’s a good thing. But last night’s dream was just too great to not share.
I dreamed I was shopping with some friends, and we found this FABULOUS line of clothes. They were well made, good quality, and just beautiful. The best part was, they made the wearer look Fantastic! I tried on a skirt and I felt instantly transformed–25 pounds lighter and toned, and even my hair looked great! I was BUYING that skirt, and maybe a shirt to go with it. Yes, they were expensive, but, as I could see, it was worth it. As I was trying to pick out my favorite (since the whole collection was amazing, and it was very hard to choose), and figure out really if I could afford to buy more than one thing, my friend casually said, “Oh, and don’t forget about the penguin.”
“What?” I asked, not really listening, as I picked out another outfit to go and try on.
“You know, the free penguin you get with each item purchased,” she said. How she could say that so nonchalantly, I do not know.
I gave her that “Wha’ chu talkin’ about, Willis?” look, she laughed and said, “It’s an environmentalist thing. The penguins are in danger, and this company wants to be environmentally responsible and help out the penguins.”
“Oh, so I ‘ADOPT’ a penguin, and part of my purchase price goes to help out the penguins,” I said.
“No,” she said, “you ADOPT a penguin and it goes home with you. They’re really quite cute.”
What? I have to take home a penguin and take care of it so I can buy these really really cute clothes? Well, I guess I can take care of a penguin. “What do you feed a penguin?” I asked.
“We feed ours cat food and sometimes tuna for a treat. They really prefer fresh fish, but that was getting too expensive,” she said as she looked through the rack.
A penguin. At my house. These clothes had better be worth it. I decided that they were, picked out the favorite skirt and a shirt to go with it, and went to pay. At the register, the lady rang up my ridiculously expensive ensemble, gave me the total, which I paid, and then said, “Let’s see, it looks like your penguins are…….Stevie, and…… Brooke. I’ll have someone go and get them for you.”
Wait. Penguins? As in more than one? I have to take home TWO penguins? Oh, my husband is going to kill me. He already thinks I’m on the verge of being one of those crazy bird ladies, but now I’m bringing home two penguins? Trying to hang on to some measure of composure, I asked, “Do they come with some sort of instruction manual. The penguins?”
The lady at the store acted like it was the easiest thing in the world to take care of penguins, and that I was getting a special prize! Like when you get a free toy in your cereal box. Free Penguin with Purchase! Only I wasn’t really thrilled about the penguin.
I did take my two “lovable” penguins home, and, no offense to all you penguin lovers out there, but in my dream (let’s all remember this was just a dream) they were awfully hard to take care of. They made a mess out of EVERYTHING, and since I had no special penguin pond or penguin cage or anything, they kind of just took over the bathroom. They did NOT like the cat food I bought for them, and I believe they caused quite a bit of marital discord at home. (You think?).
Eventually I could take the stress of the penguins no more, and I took them AND the darling clothes back to the store. And what do you know? But penguins are NON RETURNABLE! Are you KIDDING me?
That was the end of the dream, thank goodness. When I realized it was a dream, I was actually really sad about those clothes. They looked SO good on me, I’m tellin you! But I was relieved about the penguins. *Sigh of relief* We don’t really have penguins at home that I have to take care of.
When I sat down to write this post, my kids came tooling by with penguins in the stroller.
They even put birthday hats on them. Oh, how cute.
And I had a little bit of a panic. It was a dream, wasn’t it?