Surprise!

I’m still here. Poor neglected blog.
It’s been a bit of a hard year or two for me. Pretty much since turning 50 things have been hard. I had to leave the handbell group that I love and had been with for 14 years, I found out that my daughter was gay and I have had to try to deal with all the emotions that that brought up, my married son and daughter-in-law moved in with us (which is a blessing that comes with challenges), my dad had major surgery for prostate cancer, and my mom broke her leg, I’ve been working very hard to get my small community handbell choir going, and I have been sick a lot.

On the flip side, though, Ryan and I took a cruise with my parents up to Canada last year, then we got to go to Switzerland twice this year for business, and I went to Mexico with friends. I also started a new business selling Color Street nails, and our handbell choir performed 2 great (but small) concerts last year and it’s looking like we will have a good group this year, as well. I’ve done a few plays and met lots of great people. So, it’s not like it’s been all bad.

But this “going through the change” thing has been a big pain. I’ve gone to more doctor’s appointments in the past year and a half than I have in many years. I now have a chiropractor, a dermatologist, and a hormone specialist. And yet, somehow I just kept getting sick, and staying sick. I’ve been trying all kinds of different vitamins, trying to eliminate toxins and use organic things when possible, I’ve eliminated much of the hidden gluten, and even limited the amount of diary that I eat. Not helping. The last cold I’ve had has lasted for a month, and I kept wondering if I had a sinus infection because of the headaches and the constant stuffiness. Could this all be from allergies?

So, when I went to my doctor last month and we adjusted the bioidentical hormones because I still had no estrogen showing up in my test results, she also did some blood tests. But when I got the call that I needed to come back in to “discuss” my blood test results, I got a little worried. Sure, I know my cholesterol is not the greatest. While I lost 10 pounds a year ago, those 10 pounds have returned, and I haven’t been exercising like I should. Or, to be truthful…at all.

So, I went in yesterday prepared for a talking to about what I’m eating, etc. But then she starts talking about white blood cell count and inflammation, and in my head I’m thinking “she’s going to tell me I have cancer. I knew it was a brain tumor!” Ok, I know, I’m over-dramatic. Not a tumor. But I do have epstein barr disease (like mono)
with symptoms that include: extreme fatigue, fever, sore throat,head and body aches, and rashes.
OH, that explains a lot of things.
But, wait, there’s more.
I also have
Mycoplasma pneumoniae Infection.

“Mycoplasma pneumoniae is a type of “atypical” bacteria that commonly causes mild infections of the respiratory system. In fact, pneumonia caused by M. pneumoniae is sometimes referred to as “walking pneumonia” since symptoms tend to be milder than pneumonia caused by other germs. The most common type of illness caused by these bacteria, especially in children, is tracheobronchitis, commonly called a chest cold. Symptoms often include being tired and having a sore throat, fever, and cough.” Thank you, google.

I have probably had this pnemonia for at least 9 months, maybe more than a year. My body has tried to fight it off, but it’s not been successful.

Finally! A REASON for this tiredness. I’m not just a lazy bum, and this is not just “how it feels to be 50”. I almost cried when she told me it was treatable, and I COULD and SHOULD feel better. However, she did warn me that it will take a few months, and that I might feel worse before I feel better.

I’m SO thankful for this doctor. She is the kind of person that is willing to try different things and keep looking until we find an answer. I haven’t been to my general doc about this cold because I was pretty sure I would tell them I’ve had these symptoms for a long time and they would say, “you have a cold.” I’m so thankful that she LOOKED for these things in the blood test and that now I can hopefully finally get feeling better.

In the mean time, I’m going to try to “take it easy”. Which is funny because I was seriously going to go audition for a Christmas play tonight, and now I’m thinking it’s probably not wise to try to tackle one more thing right now. But instead of just feeling like I’m failing because I can’t keep up, I’m going to try to show myself some compassion, and allow myself to rest. And if someone asks me to bring in dinner for someone else, I can always say, “I probably shouldn’t. I have pneumonia.”