Cheese, Grommit!

In our house, if you run out of cheese, it’s a national tragedy. Call someone and see if we can get some FIMA money…we’re about out of cheese!

There’s the teenaged boy who comes home from school and makes himself a ham and cheese sandwich every day and piles on the slabs of cheese. There’s the grade school kids who only take school lunch on pizza day, and every other day they take home lunch, which is usually a ham and cheese sandwich and some other stuff.

I buy the big blocks of cheddar and the HUGE slab of presliced American Cheese at Costco. Because I don’t want to be running to the store every other day for cheese. Or ham. I buy the three packs of sliced lunchmeat ham and turkey, and then I pick up ham at the grocery store when it’s on clearance and I pop it in the freezer. But every once in a while, I can’t find any ham in the freezer, and then people start to freak out.
“Mom, there’s no HAM!”
“Well, then eat something else.”
“There’s NOTHING ELSE!”
“I’m sure there’s something else, I just spent $75 on groceries, we have to have something that you can eat.”
“But there’s no HAM.”

Seriously? Yes. This is the actual transcript of an actual conversation.

And sometimes, there is the perfect storm of tragedy when we are out of BOTH cheese AND ham. And when that happens, we might as well all just lay down and die, because what is the point of living?

Today is one of those days. We are out of the sliced American Cheese. Yes, there’s a whole block of cheddar, but to a few people in the house, Cheddar is ignored. It’s not the fake AMERICAN cheese they want. Oh, yeah, and we’re out of ham.

I’m on my way out the door as I type this, really. Because when those hungry little people come home from school, there had better be something for them to eat.

Do you have a tragedy food in your house? Something that if you run out, it’s considered a national emergency?