My friend and neighbor called last night and asked if I could do her a HUGE favor. She was very apologetic and said if I couldn’t do it, that was ok, but she was in a bind, and had to go out of town unexpectedly next week and would it be possible if I watched two of her children for two days? Two of her children who two of my children LOVE and would have a great time with. Two of her well behaved children. A 6 year old and an 8 year old. Of course we’ll watch your kids! No problem. She was ever so grateful and promised to watch my kids if I ever needed it, and please please please let her make it up to us somehow, etc. etc.
Contrast that with the experience another friend is going through right now. A good friend of mine is watching her neighbor’s kids right now. She’s really one of the nicest people I know. She watches friends’ kids overnight every once in a while, so that’s nothing new to her, but I think she would appreciate being asked in advance. Instead, she got this (in her words that I stole from emails):
My neighbor (who I hardly speak to) called me and said “I’m going to Mexico for ten days and I have assigned my boys (3 of them ages 12, 10 and 7) out to the street. You have Monday and Tuesday night then they go to [another neighbor] for two nights, then…”
So much for, hey friend, can you help me out? The thing is, I know that she doesn’t have a lot of people she can lean on, so my Christian guilt made me say, “Uh, ok I guess”. That, and the fact that I am a little bit afraid of her. She actually said, “One of the children is having some anger issues and sometimes we literally have to tackle him to keep him from attacking one of his siblings – you should see the bite mark he left….”. Truly, truly. She actually said that. Who am I to say that this may not be the time for her to be taking a trip to Mexico?????
When she called me w/ my “assignment”, I pressed her about why she wasn’t having her BYU student come up and watch them (since school just got out) and she said, “No, that won’t work. I have it all planned and we will just go with it”. Who does that???? I ran into my other neighbor (the one who has the next few days as her “assignment”) and she said that she tried to explain that her oldest daughter just had a baby and she was going to be gone for that, but even that didn’t work.
I admire and respect this friend and I hope that her tending job goes well. I hope that my tending job goes well, too, although I kind of think mine will be more fun. Good luck!
Wow! You’re friend has one audacious neighbor! I’m afraid if one of our neighbors tried to do that to us, my husband would stop them dead in their tracks with an, “I don’t think so!” kind of comment. He has no problems saying, “no”, unlike me who often takes on more than I can handle.
I’m glad you have nice neighbors that don’t take advantage of you like that.
A few year ago, I was in a simliar bind. I had a neighbor who would call and tell me she was dropping her kids off for 2 hours which really meant at least four. I put up with it for almost a whole year. The poo finally hit the fan when she called and I had the flu and my two year old had RSV. I tried over the phone to explain this to her she responded by saying, “I am sure this is difficult for you, but I ordered a pizza that I will bring by when I drop off the kids. That way, you don’t need to feed them.” I was so mad, I put my kids in the car and drove to my in-laws and stayed there overnight. No one was home when she came by. I left her a phone message and said, “I need at least 48 hours notice if you want me to watch your kids and I will still likely say no.” Our relationship was never the same but in reality I thought, “Good riddance!”
No doubt. With ‘friends’ like that, who needs enemies?