Author: Superpaige (Page 162 of 180)

Well, I had a pretty busy weekend. We had an all day Mass Bell Ring up at Davis High school on Saturday, where 18 different bell choirs from Utah came together for hours and hours of rehearsal, and then a huge concert in the afternoon. So I wouldn’t have to drive up there at 6 in the morning, I stayed overnight on Friday with my friend Liz. It was fun to chat with her Friday night, and nice to not have to drive up there in the morning, but I must say it wasn’t a good night’s sleep. I really need my own bed–I’m that set in my ways.

Saturday was a long day, but fun in it’s own right. It was neat to hear other choirs, and with all 18 choirs playing the same songs, it was really an incredible sound (of course, we were in the back, so we couldn’t hear much of the other choirs).

Sunday I taught my lesson in Relief Society, which went well, and then after a nice nap, Robin, her new boyfriend, and her kids came for dinner. The kids were thrilled to have them here again, and will be enjoying them for the next few days while they are here. They are making snow forts and having a blast in the cold.

I’m feeling a bit under the weather today. I’ve got a cold, sinus pressure and I’ve had diarhea most of the day. So, to avoid thinking, I found someone else’s funny stuff to copy for today. I hope you enjoy a laugh (I especially enjoyed #3 and #4).

I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.

“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

For you knitters out there, take note, and please don’t knit your kids anything like this, the comments about it were “a toilet rug with ribbon”, and I have to agree.

My friend, Robin asked me to come up with some kind of poem for the Relief Society Birthday party for her, and being the good friend that I am, I did. Mind you, it’s not my best work, just off the top of my head, but until I come up with something better, I’ll share it with you.

Sing this to the tune of “close to you” by the Carpenters (you know it, just think it through a little bit):

Why do casseroles suddenly apear
Every time we are near?

Just like me
They want to be
In Relief Society

Why does service happen every day
Even though we get no pay?

Just like me
They want to be
In Relief Society

On the day that it was formed the angels got together
And told Joseph Smith exactly what to do
So he organized the sisters and told them charity never faileth
Do be do

That is why
All the sisters now
Have sweet spirits
And are worth 8 cows

Just like me
They want to be
In Relief Society

Wha-ooh-ooh- ooh ooh
Relief Society

What-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Relief Society

Last night I told John that soon he could be a big boy and use the potty, and then he wouldn’t have to wear diapers anymore.

“No thank you,” he said, “I like diapers.”

What?

Why is it that parents on tv never lose their temper?

Like Caillou’s Mommy always calmly asks Caillou to pick up his toys, and never gets annoyed that he whines all the time. How does she do it? Oh, yeah. She’s a cartoon and she has a writer who writes her like that. Little kids don’t want to watch real Mommies on tv–they already have one like that. What kind of ratings would pbs get if they showed real Mommies who yell and get annoyed and put their child on time out for whining? Not very good in the 2-3 year old bracket, that’s for sure.

I need a scriptwriter, or a cartoonist. They could write me nice mommy lines, like, “What have I told you about leaving your toys all over the house?” and the nice child would say, “I’m not supposed to.” and then the cartoonist would draw that child putting away their toys. How lovely that would be.

Instead, we live in non cartoon land, where a trying to be nice mommy has to take a SCREAMING child out during sacrament meeting, and because sitting him on the couch and talking to him wasn’t working, I went out to the little foyer and stuck him in there. He, not about to be quiet, pounds on the glass, screaming, “LET ME OUT!” at the top of his lungs. Some lady said, “That’s about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” Well, it’s not so cute to me, sister–I’m thinking. His nursury leaders were standing right there, and said, “I’ve never even heard him talk, let alone cry.” I guess it’s a realization for all of us.

And nice mommy may know what to do with two girls who constantly tell each other how much they dislike each other. This one took those two girls, taped their wrists together (now, don’t get all ‘child rights’ about it, it was that low-tack blue painter’s tape, it didn’t hurt them), and sat them down and said, “Now, I want to hear you each say 50 nice things about each other. Go!”
Yeah, I definitely need a good script writer.

I was going to come up with some cute Dr Suess like poem about my life, but don’t have time.

Oh look at this house.
Who lives here, a louse?

We should clean up,
Said Sally, the mouse.

Clean up, I say!
Clean, Clean, all day!
Don’t let those kids get in your way!

We can clean up the dishes, the sink, and the wall.
We can pick up the shoes that are strewn down the hall!

If only we had a maid, says the mouse.
Then someone else could clean up this house.

Ok, I’ll stop.

Natalie is a finalist in our school storytelling festival, so I’m off to the assembly at school. She’ll also tell tonight at the parents’ assembly, but I’ve got to perform with the Tab Choir in their concert tonight, so I guess Ryan will be going with all the kids (he’s awesome!).

More later!

Ok, here’s the later update. Natalie did very well telling her story. She doesn’t have it quite memorized enough (we didn’t know she was going to tell for the whole school until they called last night), so she stumbled a bit and left out a bit, but I’m so proud of her. She did great! She told Pigs a plenty, Pigs galore, one of our favorite stories.

(Here’s an ironic aside here, John is sitting on the floor ripping apart a pop-up book. That’s our love for literature shining through in our children.)

Yesterday I tried to make the most of my visit to the school. I had to do playground duty for an hour and a half. Not wanting to be watching my own kids climb all over the playground for that entire time, I got a babysitter for them (yes, sometimes I’m with-it enough to actually plan ahead).
–So, I went a few minutes early and got all of Jenna’s Kindergarten Registration papers, which I filled out on the playground.
–I also dropped off my note for Dads and Donuts (which is this Friday-ugh) at the office to be copied.
–While I was doing my playground duty, I stepped in to the Lunchroom to say hi to each of my kids, and to embarrass them in front of their friends (not really, I’ve been there enough that their friends know who I am, even if I don’t remember who they all are).
–And I walked around watching kids play. When’s the last time you ran around screaming just for fun? I can’t remember ever running around just for fun, but I probably did run Ramona style and play tag and all that when I was in elementary school. I do remember playing “Charlie’s Angels”, though. Now that was fun. I only had a few kids come up and tattle on other kids, and I had to go and talk to one girl about being nice and not hurting people’s feelings. Wearing the lovely orange vest and fanny pack, and being oh, so stylish, I walked around in awe of those kids and their energy. Why don’t we have energy like that? Oh, yeah, pregnancy, childbirth and raising children. That’s right.
–When my sentence, I mean volunteer time, was over, I went with Megan quickly to the Book Fair, which was going on in the library. Megan’s friend, who had been trying to hand out money at the lunch table, was there with her debit card. When I asked her why she had a debit card, she said, “Oh, my stepdad gave it to me and said to spend it on anything I want.” Does anyone else see the problem here, or am I just being extremely old fashioned in my thinking that 10 year olds are not old enough to manage a debit card?

I guess you all know what we’ll be doing tonight after the kids go to bed. –No, not that, get your mind out the gutter– Watching Amazing Race! Ryan’s been kind enough to give me the countdown almost every day for the last 6 weeks or so, and he’s so excited I think he might just pop a button. I’m just glad they are going back to the standard format of two people, instead of 4. I just didn’t like that last season too much.

How many of you will be watching it, too?