I went to a viewing for a dear lady last night. Marian was in my ward, the mother of one of my good friends growing up. Our families spent a lot of time together, and I wanted to pay my respects and give my love to her two kids Suzi and Steve. And even though it was a somber occasion, it was so nice to see so many old friends. I saw two of my other great friends from my ward, Carolyn and Joni, and had so much fun talking to them. They are so funny, even at a viewing. We had such a good time growing up together, and I have such fond memories of girls’ camps, youth conferences, YW activities and school functions. We spent a lot of time together in tents, and even though I remember the raining and raining that always seemed to occur at girls’ camp, I remember laughing and singing and hiking and having fun with those girls.
I also saw so many other people from my parent’s ward. As I would see people, at first I wouldn’t recognize them, but then my old brain started working, and faces and names would come back to me. Oh, look, there’s Karen–I remember volleyball, girl’s camp, and going to see Indiana Jones together. Oh, there’s Bonny, a neighbor from up the street. I think of her as a primary leader, and I ask her about her son Jeremy. Look, there’s Tee and Debbie–they still look the same. Oh, and Carolyn’s brother John, who I haven’t seen in at least 15 years. Of course my parents were there, along with so many other people who loved this woman and her family. My parents are still living in that neighborhood, so I often see the neighbors when I visit, but rarely do I see anyone who has since moved away from that area.
As I was leaving, I saw one of my Young Women leaders from 25 years ago. Tricia! Her name came back immediately. In talking to her, she said, “Your dad was the bishop when our son was born. And being with the Young Women helped me through that difficult time. I was so overwhelmed at having a child with Down’s, but you girls were so excited about the baby and learning all about him and his needs, it really helped me get excited about him. It was a blessing in my life.” I told her that I was now a leader in the Young Womens program, and how important it was to me to be a good leader in the lives of these girls, because I had such wonderful leaders when I was growing up, and they made a difference in my life.
As I drove home, I thought about how wonderful life is, and how blessed I am to have grown up in such a supportive environment. I am thankful for my friends of 30 years, who I went to dinner with on Saturday night. I have counted on their support and love and friendship through all these years, and I still love them and have such fun whenever we get together. I have a fantastic supportive husband who has patience with me and my many “extra curricular activities”, wonderful kids who keep me on my toes all day, and fabulous neighbors who support and help each other. Neighbors who I count as friends, and when in a bind I can call from a soccer game and ask if they could please take my son to the high school for band RIGHT NOW because he can’t find anyone to carpool with.
Life is a blessing. I’m going to share with you this story from the lesson I taught in Young Women yesterday about how each of us can be a blessing in other people’s lives.
“There was a girl in one seminary class who seemed to be helpless and almost hopeless. I tried to encourage her and draw her out; I sensed that she wanted desperately to belong and to do something. But when she was asked to respond, give a prayer, or read a scripture, she would struggle for a while and then start to cry and return to her seat. There was some sympathy on the part of the class for her, but it is also true that there were some students who were often brutal in their comments.
“She almost never combed her hair, she had very poor clothing, and she frequently wore mismatched socks, if she wore any at all. If she arrived for class a little early, the chairs on either side of her would almost invariably be empty. If she got to class late, she could sit by someone because that would be the only seat open.
“I knew enough about her background to understand why she was the way she was. Her mother was a widow with almost no income.
“In that class were the student-body president of the high school and also a girl who had been elected the beauty queen. Besides being very handsome and intelligent students, they were talented otherwise and involved in many activities.
“One day I called the two of them into my office and asked if they would like to perform a miracle. They were interested. I told them some miracles were a little slow in developing, but they were miracles nevertheless. We then talked a little bit about the girl, and I made assignments. The student-body president was to smile and speak to her every time he saw her around school. That was all. He didn’t have to take her on a date; he didn’t have to stop and talk to her; he didn’t have to associate beyond that or single her out—merely the happy, encouraging ‘I think you’re great’ or ‘Hello, how are you today?’
“The beauty queen accepted the assignment of walking with the girl across the road from the high school to the seminary. That was all. She didn’t have to include her in her circle of friends other than to walk to and from the seminary every day. She would simply hurry to catch up with her or slow down to wait for her when they were coming across the street and just talk about whatever she wanted to talk about.
“The two of them went about their tasks quietly but enthusiastically, saying not a word to anyone else. The miracle was not long in coming. One day I knew there was something different about the girl. It took me most of the class period to figure out what it was. And then I saw what it was. She had combed her hair that day. That was an event!
“Over the next month or two the transformation continued. Our beauty queen became friendly and chatty with her during that time. She could never walk with her alone because she had her own friends following her. And so other girls were included in the group, and soon the girl was surrounded for those few minutes each day with the most popular girls at school.
“There are so many interesting details that could be related about the miracle. Our wallflower transformed herself, went to college, found good employment, married in the temple, and those who know her would never believe the ugly duckling of her youth†(Boyd K. Packer, Teach Ye Diligently [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1975], pp. 149–50).
That is funny. I told that story to the Primary kids yesterday. It is one of my favorites.
Well, the funeral today was very beautiful, just like Marian was. Suzi and Steve gave wonderful tributes and made me want to be a better mother (it might be too late now). There was beautiful music, and your dad gave a very nice talk. You would have enjoyed it very much. Its amazing to see Suzi and Steve’s kids, how big they are, and learn about their lives. Funerals are great, aren’t they! But I hope we don’t have one in our family for a long, long time. Oh, and we saw Chris Cooper there. He came up and talked to us as we were leaving. He has a short beard and crew cut hairdo, and its greying. He lives in Layton, near his two brothers. Penny has moved to Arizona, but he doesn’t remember where. Jackie is in West Valley and serves at the temple on Saturdays.
It was good to see him, as well as Joni and Carolyn again. Joni says she sees Amy because she teaches at Braeden’s school.
I’m so glad you and Mom told me about all I missed. I pondered all weekend about whether I should go to the funeral or not. It came down to if I was willing to take both boys out of school for the whole day, because of the way carpooling would have had to work if I was gone, and I wasn’t quite willing. Plus, we’ve all come down to terrible colds, almost to the point of keeping the boys out of school anyway. We didn’t want to infect anyone else. Then, there was the babysitting. . .
Anyway, I’m glad you were able to see so many good friends. I do see Joni a lot when I take Jacob to school–it’s not Braeden’s school anymore, but it used to be. Too bad I missed seeing Suzi and Steve. It would have been nice to introduce my kids to Steve’s kids–their third cousins.
I’m glad the funeral was beautiful. Even though we’ve joked a little about Marian and how she was a bit of a control freak, she was definitely a great lady, and raised some excellent kids, and had a beautiful home. She was also very generous. We had to tell her to stop giving her rice krispie treats the last time we went to visit–she wanted us to take some to Mom and Dad, and have some for the road!