Without going into too much detail or embarrassing my children (what? NOW you’re worried about embarrassing them?), we are going through a bit of a struggle with one of our kids right now. When there are five children, it seems they often ‘take turns’ being the difficult or worrisome child. Thankfully. There are only two of us parents, and we would go crazy if they were all going through difficulties at the same time. But one will coast along easily for a time, while another goes through something very hard and might need more of our attention and concern. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when they were ALL smoothly sailing at the same time. That might just put us parents out of a job.
Well, this child is……having a difficult time. And while I try to help correct this problem, I wonder if I’m being too hard. I often lose my temper because we’ve been over this a HUNDRED TIMES, and I don’t see why you keep doing this….this THING that is wrong. At times we’ve both been in tears, the child and me. Last week I couldn’t deal with it one. more. time. and pleaded with my husband to “take care of it” because I was so angry I didn’t know if I could control myself. Looking back, I’m angry at myself that I got so emotionally involved and lost my temper.
And I have NO idea how to make them stop. I don’t want to get angry, I don’t want to lose my temper, I don’t want to have to go through this SAME thing over and over and over again. Why can’t you just GET IT? At the same time, I want to just take them in my arms and say it’s ok, I’ll take care of it. Mommy will make it better and you won’t have to worry about it anymore if it’s too hard for you. But then how would the child ever learn? So, I correct and discipline and pray, and try to reinforce that I really do LOVE this child. I would do anything for this child–for all of these children, if it would guarantee them a happy life.
It is then that I catch a glimpse of how our Heavenly Father feels about each one of us. He must look at me and say, ‘Paige, you KNOW that’s not good for you. You KNOW that will not make you happy in the long run. We’ve been over this before, yet you still continue to make the wrong decisions.’ And I’m sure he cried. Yet he still loves me. He still wants what’s best for me. And for you.
I want to be more Christlike in my disciplining,
“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.”
I’m trying.
The mom job. So much harder than the listing implied.
Amen Paige….It’s good to hear that someone else out there feels the exact same way. Did you hear that conference talk about the Parenting 505 class? I’m officially enrolled…ha ha ha. Hang in there. We’re all doing the same thing as moms and need to support one another.
We are have been there with worry about one particular child. You expressed what we as parents feel beautifully. You are not alone.
It is that insight that shows what a good parent you are. Its easy to be a mom but REALLY HARD to be a good mom. I’m lucky if I fall somewhere in the middle more often than not.
And…just checked out your New York pictures! Isn’t the Met amazing? It looks like you and Ryan had such fun 🙂
Hang in there! It will be worth it.
Oh, I feel for you, my daughter. You sure did hide the identify of this child, but I think I know who it is. I wish you luck. If you would call me I might be able to give you some ideas on how to help. But if you want the child’s identify to remain anonymous, I guess you can’t call me.
Parenting job is the hardest one out there, and it doesn’t even come with a manuel! Olivia’s friend got into the car today and said “I wish you were my mom, you and Liv get along so well”, haha little does she know! All kids go through tough times and so do parents, you are a great parent and this too shall pass. xoxo