Why must people call me in the mornings? Why? Do they not know that I have 3-5 children IN MY FACE at that time, and no matter how many times I ask them, tell them, whisper loudly to please be quiet while I’m on the phone, they just HAVE to talk to me while I’m on the phone.
“Mom, can I have scrambled eggs? Can I? Mom? Scrambled eggs?” “MOM, I NEED LUNCH MONEY!” “She’s poking me!” “La-La-lala-La-la,” “But I can’t FIND my socks!” is all going on while I try to talk to whoever it in that has called me before 9 am. I go into the other room to try to have a bit of quiet and THEY JUST FOLLOW ME!
And really, what good can come from phone calls in the morning, anyway? It’s people calling who want something from me. People who are just calling to say hi or to give me a bit of good news don’t call before the kids leave in the morning. They call at a better time, like 10. Or in the afternoon when I’m bored. But no–morning callers want something.
The first call was from a sweet little lady in my ward. She was out of town last weekend and I did the music in RS for her. No big deal. This time she was calling to thank me (sweet, but really not necessary) and then ask if I’d talk about my experience in the Bells on Temple Square for the 5 minutes for music time. No problem. But then she somehow dragged the conversation out so that we were on the phone for at least 5 minutes, maybe longer. 5 long minutes of me walking around the house trying to avoid the little people who were very intent in their need for mom.
Next we had a call from a lady in a nearby neighborhood. She used to be in our ward before it split, and I love her to death. I would LOVE to sit and chat with her for 1/2 hour or more. But not before the kids leave for school. Her kids are in high school and jr high, so obviously they’ve already left for school by this time, or she wouldn’t be able to call me, now, would she? Chat, chat, avoid childen, say, “I’m on the phone!” about 3 times, and then she asks if Ryan could possibly help them out with a computer issue. I should have known. So, Ryan, if you’re reading this, Ruth wants you to call.
8:40. 5 minute to get the girls’ hair combed and poorly styled, shoes on and backpacks on. The phone rings again. I saw who it was and wasn’t going to answer it. I already knew that this person was going to ask me if I could watch her preschooler. Wasn’t going to answer it. But one of the helpful children answered it for me and brought me the phone. And I found myself saying that yes, I would watch her preschooler. No problem. You see, she didn’t realize that Tuesday was the last day of school. I really don’t mind. John loves playing with Tyler, and I usually pick him up from preschool on Thursdays and bring him home with me for an hour or two because his mom plays tennis on Thursdays. So John will be happy to have a friend to play with, and it’s not like I’ve got anything important scheduled for this morning anyway. Unless you call cleaning the bathrooms important. Which it is. Important and necessary (if you don’t think it’s important, just stop doing it for a few weeks and see how important and necessary it becomes). Just not urgent. It’s not like I had a lunch date with a friend (why DON”T I have any lunch dates with friends, anyway? I think I need to work on that!) But I don’t have any programs at school, no important shopping to do, just a nice day at home to do some housework. So, no, I really don’t have a problem watching her little munchkin, but must she call before 9?
I need to put a block on my phone. If someone called, it would automatically go to the voice mail that said in a nice female voice, “The number you have reached, 7.5………… , does not accept calls before 9 am. Please leave a short message, or try your call again later. Thank you.” But don’t think I don’t want your calls later in the day, because I do. In fact, I’m just here, cleaning the bathrooms. There’s nothing I’d love more than a distracting call from a friend to get me away from the drudgery that is toilet cleaning.
I’m so glad I’m not one of those early morning callers! I always check the clock before calling you, and usually I’m at aerobics or yoga until 9:15, so you’re safe.
You and I should have a lunch date some time, even if you just want to come to my house and I can make you lunch while Jenna and John play with Jacob and Brooke.
Oh, and thanks for that reminder. I really REALLY need to clean our bathrooms too!
Oh yeah – so identify with this! I don’t have little ones – but I do get up at 5 a.m. every day to get husband out the door. Then I like to go back to bed after 6:30. Just an hour or so thank you very much. So why is it that the senior sister missionaries always call around 7??? Hello? It’s 7 you don’t call people at 7! I’ve taken to not answering the phone. Is that terrible? I call back later – say when I’m cleaning the bathroom – and then I can work on the task they’ve given me. Oy! My other annoyance is calls after 10. Hello? I get up at 5 a.m. don’t they get that?
Very funny blog today. I don’t have that problem, thank goodness. You lead a very busy life!!!
I used to love phone calls but 9 times out of 10 it is someone wanting something. I panic just seeing the light flashing on my answering machine. I also have little phone answerers in my house and the phone has been brought to me in the shower, while I’m going to the bathroom, as I am loading younger ones in car seats to go some place where we are already 10 minutes late. Dentist husband refuses to pay for caller ID, so I have no warning whatsoever.
LOL, I am with you on this one!
And caller ID in our house is not a want, it is a need!
We’ve started getting calls from bill collectors – for my SISTER IN LAW! We’ve had numerous calls in the past few weeks for her, but she’s never even lived in Mississippi – she’s in Georgia. I have no idea how they got our number, plus they ask for her by her maiden name, which she hasn’t had for about 10 years!
I chanced on this wonderful blog looking for any others that might pertain to BOTS. Paige you are an absolute riot. I think I have spent my morning, most of it before 9:00 a.m., reading the whole bunch. I just may give you a call to tell you your smile is incredible, and your addition to the group is a definite plus. Nah! I just told you.
Paige,
I don’t know if Robin (from Bells) ever told you, but his brother has written two fictionalized books about their life as a crazy family of boys. Your blog is hilarious, and is very similar in craziness as the books.
http://deseretbook.com/store/search?search=Matthew+Buckley&x=0&y=0
Chickens is the first, Bullies is the sequel. I bet you’d love them. Oh, his brother’s real name is Marion Jensen, not Matthew Buckley.
Paige,
Love the blog! I’m going to tune in often to hear how you are since I don’t think I’ll be at bells much for a while. You have a knack for writing! My life is also pretty hairy, but I could never put it on paper quite the way you do. Keep it up! It’s great!