CARPOOL DIEM (or sports, carpools, and other scheduling challenges)

Warning: This post is all about my kids, so if that bores you to tears, click away right now.

We’re in high gear here. May is like December–it’s full of wonderful things, but there are just. too. many of them. Last week was so terribly hectic that I was in a state of panic for the whole week. What with my rehearsals, concerts, and women’s conference and soccer tournament and softball starting up, I felt like the family was held together by phone calls and sticky notes. And thanks to Ryan for taking care of everybody while I was gone. I just thought, if I can get through this week, next week will be better. Well, this week IS better, but it’s still terribly over-scheduled.

I have a friend in my neighborhood who has 5 kids the same ages as my kids. Her oldest is a girl, which doesn’t help me any, but her other four kids are the same sex as my kids. It’s nice to have a full family of friends for my kids so close. Well, she’s also a bit of a sports enthusiast, and she rounded up teams for all of our girls to play on. She’s even coaching one of the teams, so she’s really ambitious. But with three girls on three different softball teams, that’s 3x practices and games each week. Luckily, since we have a whole bunch of neighborhood kids on each teams, we can carpool or even just send them with their friends, like I did with Megan this week. This is why softball really shouldn’t begin until school is out, right? Because spending a lazy summer evening at the ball field is what summer is about, right? Not running from one activity to the next and sitting there freezing at your 7 year old’s game like I did last night.

So besides the softball starting up, this week has also been band concert week. That meant that two of the kids had to be at school by 7:00 each morning, and then had to be at the school for the concert by 5:30 last night. I went to the 2:00 school assembly concert, and it was very good. I’m proud of my kids! They’ve learned so much through the school band program, and I’m grateful that our school does a band and orchestra. Even Natalie’s beginning strings group did a fine job. The principal announced that this was the 21st annual band concert at our elementary school, and I think that’s awesome. Megan did a percussion number where they did their drumming on garbage cans, and it was the hit of the program. I’m sure she’ll be one of the coolest kids in school for the next few days as everyone wants to be a drummer just like her.

It is also the week of the dance recital. So, they’ve had an extra practice last night, and picture days for both girls. Tonight we will get to see Jenna and Natalie dance their little hearts out wearing their costumes that I paid way too much for (and did I mention that I had a tights emergency and had to go to four different stores before I found a pair of “tan footless tights”?) and they will wear approximately once. It’s one of a mother’s proudest moments. Hopefully we will not forget the camera.

Tuesday night Ryan went to the marching band parents’ meeting with Cole. It’s a good thing that I didn’t go, because I *might* just have FREAKED OUT a bit when I saw the schedule of practices and event. Because I was already so overwhelmed with getting all the other kids activities on the calendar and then there’s this whole new set of activities to factor in, and then where is my babysitter? I wouldn’t want to do something like that in front of a whole new group of parents. I really don’t know if my son can keep his grades up with this kind of schedule, but I’m hoping it’s a motivator to use his time wisely. We’ll just have to see how it goes, and how we like being band parents. And how we’re going to afford this. Oh, and he also brought me his brand new fancy flute this week and said, “Mom, I broke a spring”. As if I somehow could magically wave my hand and fix it. Hmmm. This whole growing up and acting like a high school student is also scary to me. I need to get a handle on it.

Kids are like plants. They grow so fast when you aren’t looking.

I even went to a class at women’s conference about over-scheduling your kids and simplifying. It was a good class and I learned some things about letting my kids make the decision about the extra-curricular activities they attend. Besides piano (which is mandatory), all of these things are optional at our house. They also pointed out that sports and activities are good for your kids, and there’s even been a study done that points out that girls who played on high school teams were 40 times more likely to finish college! Being on a team helps kids develop not only sports skills, but self-esteem and confidence as well. They also learn to work together and feel like they belong, as well as having that many more adults and kids their own age that care about them. And I don’t think it’s that they have too many activities, it’s just that we have too many kids.

While we’re on the sports subject, I just wanted to mention how proud I am of Megan and her soccer team. Last week they started tournament play, and did very well on Monday night’s game. I think it was 6-0. Friday night I didn’t go to the game, but she told me they lost 3-0 to a very good team. Saturday morning we went to the game and finally enjoyed some nice weather, which has been rare this spring. But we did not enjoy some nice soccer. The team they played was playing ugly, and really trounced on our girls. One girl came out crying because she had been wacked in the face, then the other team stole the ball and a goal was made. No foul or penalty was called. Another or our girls took a ball to the back of the head at high speeds, and she was down and out on the sidelines for a while, too (I’m not saying that was intentional, it was just unfortunate). Other girls were getting kicked when the ball wasn’t even around. These girls were just really playing Rough, and unfair. We lost 6-0. Yes, they are a better team, and our girls probably would have lost, even if they had been playing fairly. But to be beaten so badly was very hard on the girls, especially when they felt like they were treated unfairly. The refs are 14-15 year old kids, and they can’t possibly see everything, but some of these offenses were so obvious, we just wondered why nothing was called. When it was over, the girls were all in tears. They did not expect to be out of the tournament so quickly, especially when last year they were the division champions in their age group.

We had a little meeting afterwards, to discuss the team’s plans for the upcoming year, and try to lift the girls’ spirits a bit. But when we left, I had one sad, disappointed girl. We had to run a few errands, and we talked along the way, reassuring her that I was very proud of her and proud of her team for not playing dirty, just because the other team was. I even let her pick her choice for lunch, and we stopped at a garage sale or two. By the time we got home, she was feeling a little better, but hated to have to tell the rest of the family that they had lost and were out of the competition. This was a hard experience for her, but one that builds character. So, even though I complain about the schedules and the practices and the time away from the family for sports, I do believe it helps kids. They have to learn to be good winners AND good losers. And isn’t that something we all need to learn? Better to learn it in sports when you are little than to learn it later in life.