Daughter: How long do I have to weed?
Me: 30 minutes.
Daughter (flabergastedly): 30 minutes? That’s like….half an hour!
Me (thinking) I’m so glad your education hasn’t been wasted on you.
Other daughter, as we were driving to our favorite mexican place with the FREE all you can eat chips and salsa before the meal. Remember that one time when we ate at Los Hermanos and we totally filled up on Chips and salsa and couldn’t finish our dinner?
(What? That ONE time? Do you mean EVERY time?)
After shopping with three kids at three different stores, daughter said, when I asked her to stop drinking my water and hand it over, “maybe if you were hydrated, you wouldn’t be so irritable.”