Why my nose is so big

This post is for my friend Susan, who absolutely loves this story.

When the kids were little, I used to take them in to those photography places for their free 8×10. They would send the coupons around their birthdays so you would go in, have their pictures taken, and then see HOW adorable they looked and buy lots and lots. Well, yes, I got suckered into buying the package one or two times. I folded under the pressure. Then one day I got smart.

The sales lady was showing me the proofs and exclaiming about how wonderful they looked and how cute my kids were (true, that!), and asked me which package I would like to purchase today.
“I’ll just take this one in the 8X10, please,” I said, determined to stick to my guns this time.
“Oh, SUUURRELY you must need more than just the one print. These are wonderful for the grandparents.” She went on in her best sales voice.
That’s it. I was tired of being pushed around by these salespeople just because I only wanted to get the “free” print. “We’ve only got one grandmother,” I said, “and she’s blind.”
So ring it up.
I can’t remember what slick Miss Saleslady said to me, then, but there was no pressure.
Genius! Why hadn’t I thought of that before!? I haven’t used that little lie again (although I might have to), but I have gotten a chuckle every time I tell that story, or just think about it. Feel free to drop that one the next time some photo salesperson is pressuring you to buy.

Well, today I had to exaggerate the truth again.
Someone called me from one of those travel places. I swear I do NOT fill out those forms all the time, but I must have entered a contest at the Highland Fling, which is our town’s summer celebration. This is not the first call I’ve gotten about the “FREE” vacation offers, where all you have to do is drag your spouse to some “short” “no-pressure” presentation, and claim your FREE vacation. I have in fact gotten my spouse to attend one or two of these things, and I know enough to not ask him to do that again. So, when I got the call today about the FREE vacation and could my spouse and I come to the presentation, blah, blah, it just slipped out.
“My spouse and I are separated, so I don’t think that is going to work,” I said.
(We are in fact currently ‘separated’. He is in Las Vegas on a business trip. Of course, if he were just at work for the day, I could still say that. We aren’t together in the same room, are we?)
“You are your spouse are separated?” I could hear her voice deflate, “Oh, I’m sorry about that.” And she couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.
Ha! Take that Miss Telemarketer!

So, no, I don’t set out with the intention to lie, but they just make it so darn easy! So, if my nose looks bigger to you today, you’ll know why.