Ok, I know you are not supposed to say the “S” word (stupid) around here, especially when the two year old is present (because he will go around the house for the next 3 months repeating “supid, supid, supid”), but there is no other word to discribe my encounter with United Airlines’ phone dummy!
Let me explain. We booked some flights on a discount flight website, and in the confirmation email they strongly suggest that you confirm your flight at least 72 hours before your flight. So, armed with my confirmation numbers and flight information, I call United Airlines and listen for the options. Of course there is no option to speak with a real person, only numbers (press 3 if you have a domestic flight, etc.). So, I’m supposed to SAY my confirmation number, and use common first names (N as in Nancy, B as in Bob, etc. ). So, I clearly state my confirmation number, having a little bit of panic (what’s a common name that starts with Z? Z as in….Zeke–I didn’t think of Zachary until just now).
So, idiot phone computer guy says “Got it. Your confirmation number is..” and he says letters and numbers that are NOT ANYWHERE CLOSE to my numbers.
“No,” I say, trying to keep the irritation from my voice (Like idiot phone computer guy is going to care if I’m irritated), and I repeat very slowly the numbers and letters using different common names.
“Got it. You said BLAH BLAH BLAH”–nothing like I said.
“NO!!!!!” I’m practically screaming. Then I chose the other option and say “I don’t know.”
“That’s ok,” he says, “Let me ask you a few questions about your flight. What is the date you are flying?”
So, I tell him the date, and he miraculously gets that, and then asks, “What is the city you are flying out of?”
“Salt Lake City” I say. Simple enough, wouldn’t you say?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that? Could you repeat the city name?”
“SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH.”
Again with the same nonsense, only my phone is beginning to beep at me that the battery is low and the phone will die at any minute. So, I go dashing across the house to find the other cordless phone while saying in the least irritated voice that I can “Salt Lake City.” Oh, there goes the phone.
So, stupid me, I call him back using the other phone. I try a different confirmation number from one of the other tickets, no such luck. After trying this until tears fill my eyes and my fingers are gripping the phone so tightly that my hands are turning white, stupid phone computer guy says, “No problem, I’ll transfer you to an operator who can help you.” Why didn’t you do that 10 minutes ago, when my phone battery still had some juice in it? The phone is beeping at me (I’m back to the first phone by now, after having let it charge for a few minutes–not enough, obviously). I dash to get the phone from the other office, but when I click it on, all I hear is static. ARGH!!!!!!!!!
So, a small tantrum later, and my dear husband is off to Walmart to buy new batteries for both of our stupid weak batteried phones. Perhaps tomorrow when I can think straight I will call back and appologize to idiot phone computer for my impolite behaviour. Or maybe I’ll just yell obscenities to him and see what kind of confirmation number that is.
OH I SO KNOW HOW YOU FELT! And no – stupid idiot phone computer should call you and apologize to you. That voice recognition system that doesn’t allow you to get into a real person it one of our biggest aggravations around here. Many times I hear Jon saying in a firm voice, “I don’t care what you want from me stupid people get me to a person, a REAL PERSON.” Then he gets really adult and says stuff like, “La,la,la,la I’m not talking to you get me a person la, la, la, la.” You should hear the stupid phone computer trying to interpret that!!!
Paige and Sharmyn
That is some of the funniest blog writing I’ve read yet. And so funny because we’ve all been there. I hope you had a great trip.